Decoding "kid speak"

A funny incident happened at our house just the other day. Funny instances seem to happen a lot here, I think it is because children are, simply put, funny.

Our neighbors live about 100 yards up hill from us. The distance is such that you can tell who is outside at their house, and if it is an adult or a child, but that is about all. It is not usually a good distance to hold conversations, seeing as how nothing can be heard.

So we get out of our car Monday and one of their kids is outside. He proceeds to start yelling at our girls. I heard:

WA-wah-wa-wah-wa.

Think Charlie Brown's teacher.

So then Brooke yells:

-Oh, OK!!

And Jordan comes up to me and says:

-They are going to set up fireworks tonight, and wants to know if we can come and watch.

???????????

My children must have the best ears on the planet. The neighbors did in fact do fireworks. One point for Jordan and Brooke, 50,467 for me.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (no spoilers)

I won't spoil the end of the series for anyone, but I read the 7th book on Saturday and it is a great end to the series. Permit me to say, however, that the 7th book is much different from the others in the series. Darker and such. If you haven't read them, please do. All seven books together make for a great story.

Newspsper Ads

I put an Ad in the newspaper because are selling our van. Long story. Anyway, this is what the ad says:

" '06 Dodge Caravan 15k miles. Owned less than one year! $13,000/best offer" then our phone #.

The AD came out today, and this is how my day started. Someone calls about the ad and the first question he asks is "How many miles does it have on it" Second question is "how long have you had it"

Did he even read the ad?

The second call was from a lady. First question was "How many miles does it have on it?" Second was "How much do you want for it?"

Seriously?????

Chocolate

Does anyone ever have Chocolate for breakfast? I did today. It was good. I am trying not to feel guilty about it. I figure if I don't eat anything until about 2pm it will all even out!

A Sad Day....

I know that the NY Times will print anything that sells even one more copy of their paper, however they have surpassed even themselves by scraping the bottom of the barrel.

The Times has written an article about supposed pictures of every page of the new Harry Potter book not due to come out until Saturday (three days away). I would expect this of them. However, instead of reporting that there are pictures of the book on the web and leaving it at that, they actually print the websites that the book can be downloaded from!

Not only are they alerting millions of people that there are copies out there, they are basically saying "Hey, why pay for it when you can download it. Here is how to do it."

JK should sue the NY Times, as well as the people who leaked the book. It is America after all. People have sued for quite a lot less.

I know that this whole situation is very minutae in the grand scheme of things, but it is just one more example of why the NY Times is essentially Morally Bankrupt. I will not post the link to the article. That would be free advertising.

Gardening

We have a community garden. By this I mean we enjoy the fruits of the garden without doing much work. The people we share the garden with have spent about 150 hours planting, weeding, etc and I have spent a sum total of 3 1/4 hours picking the yummy vegetables.

Well, yesterday I was summoned to the garden with a plea for more WalMart bags, since there was so much to pick. They just picked 4 days ago(as usual, I did not help that day), and it is amazing that you can fill 6 WalMart bags with produce after that short of time. Farmers should be making a killing.

Anyway, when I got to the garden, my friend started by saying "I just picked a huge zucchini. It's the size of your leg."

I thought she was exaggerating. I guess not.

Boot Camp

This one's for you, Mark.

Ok, so I am doing this exercise regime called "Boot Camp." The name pretty much says it all. Push up's, situps, running, jumping jacks etc. It is from 6-7am down in Chattanooga. I get up at 5am on weekday mornings to get there on time. If you know me at all, I know you are in disbelief right now, but I swear this is all true.

I am doing this for a few reasons, but the reason that matters for this story is that I want to lose those last couple of pounds because I have a few weddings to go to this summer, and I want the dresses to look just right.

Having said that, let me explain what we did yesterday. It was "team" day. "Team" in boot camp is translated "hauled a log around." Literally, a log. We carried the log to the park, we carried the log while doing lunges, and we carried the log all the way across the Walking Bridge and back. It's pretty far.

So the goal is to look good in the dress for the weddings right? Well now I have a huge bruise on my shoulder from THE STUPID LOG, which, by the way, will show so very nicely in my sleeveless dress at the wedding on Friday Night.

THIS STUFF CAN'T BE MADE UP, PEOPLE!

People will probably think I am a battered wife. Think about it, will the cop really believe me when I say "No, my husband doesn't hit me, it's from carrying a log in my aerobics class."

Oh, did I mention that I pay for all this? I may in fact be going crazy.

At least it is better than paying and not coming (you know who you are, ATL!)

Owls

Our house is most certainly becoming number 4 Privet Drive. (If you don't know where that is from, I suggest you start reading Harry Potter NOW!) Every night around dusk, our yard becomes the hunting ground for 5-6 owls. I don't mean the little hold-them-in-your-hand owls. I mean the huge I-will-eat-your-full-grown-cat owls.

They are very pretty, and they are getting used to us quickly. One flew and landed on the corner of the roof when Jason was about 6 feet away. However, Brooke is still small so we don't let her out after dusk anymore lest an owl carry her away.(kidding of course) We even have a lamp post that one landed on. Is that straight out of Sorcerer's Stone or what!! Jason took this picture the first night we spotted them.

A Funny Conversation

One lovely Wednesday I was taking my 2 kids and my friends 2 kids to a movie. (a free movie, in case anyone was under the impression we actually have $100 to spend on a real movie). Caroline and Brooke were in the middle seat of the minivan, and Jordan and Morgan were in the very back. I overheard this particular conversation between Caroline (3 1/2 years old) and Brooke (2 1/2 years old). That's them all dolled up in the picture
Caroline: Where should we play Brooke?

Brooke: Let's go to the museum. I love the museum.

Caroline: You're a GENIUS!!!

Brooke: No Caroline, I'm Brooke, the little sister.

I broke down laughing after Caroline proclaimed Brooke "a genuis" because what 3 year old knows what that word means. I practically cried when Brooke responded. It made my day a little happier, I must admit.

Pictures

Just photos of the girls.

Dade County

If you are not familliar with the infamous Dade County, Georgia, let me clue you in. This is the county that was actually succeeded from the United States until like 1948. No joke. It was the Independent state of Dade until 60 years ago. Let me tell you, it is so backwards here that I am not at all surprised.

Back when Jason and I were getting married we had a few funny instances. First of all, they require a blood test, and yet legally you can be first cousins and still get married. Can that be more ironic?

Anyway, in this story we went to get our marriage license. Jason didn't have his social security card. He had about 16 other forms of identification, including a US passport. A US Passort which, I will remind you, is valid in any country in the world. Apparently not in the Independent State of Dade. They would not accept his passport as a valid form of identification.

So to get our marriage license, we had to drive up to Covenant College and get a copy of his transcript. A COPY. Not a notorized copy, just a plain old piece of paper that could have been typed up on my computer in about 5 minutes.

Copy of paper or US Passport. You choose.

ATV's

OK, I am sure that is soooooo fun to ride around on an ATV but PLEASE don't do it in my yard. Especially at 10:30 at night when I have to get up at 5am. Yes, we called the cops, but since everyone in Dade County is apparently related, nothing was done. Hmmmm, Dade County, the subject of my next post?

Opening Thoughts

Inspired by my friend(yes you Moriah), I am now going to be recording my thoughts for everyone to read. I think this will keep all the out-of-town friends in touch with our lives. Plus, whenever anyone asks what I have been up to all I can think of saying is "Oh, not much. We're doing fine." Henceforth, this will be my proof that I actually do have a life.